Tips and Methods

BUILDING THAT SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP

A detailed set of instructions and descriptions for women who are serious about instituting or improving good old-fashioned discipline in their homes follows. If you are reading this section your eventual goal is a relationship with your husband in which you hold the authority to give him the discipline you see fit.

There are many men who entertain fantasies of being dominated by a forceful woman all their lives yet would not dare ask their wife to spank them for fear of her reaction. If your husband has asked you to try a woman-in-charge relationship and you have agreed, you have more going for you than many so-called “perfect” marriages. This article contains some useful ideas and perspectives. But, you will eventually learn the most on your own.

REALITY TESTING

You may want to do some reality testing with your husband by trying out some of the following. If he doesn’t cooperate, his desires may be more mental fantasy than a willingness to participate in the reality of it all. He should respond to your instructions for receiving discipline without argument. However, if this is new for you, it will take some practice. Familiarity with being subject to your discipline will grow over time and it may take a little while to reach the stage where immediate, full compliance can be expected. If he does what you say quickly and obediently, then you are well on your way to a new and interesting relationship. You will also discover how a simple punishment session can act as a pressure release valve for both you and your husband.

The first thing you must do is to explain the golden rule of your proposed (or existing) disciplinary relationship. He must render complete obedience to you with regard to disciplinary issues at all times and must be willing to carry out any and all orders you give him without question or hesitation.

The first time he refuses to obey an order you need to stop and have a serious talk with him right then and there. If the husband is allowed to dictate when he will or will not obey an order, then that leaves some question as to who is really in charge, doesn’t it? Once he has agreed to these terms and understands that the whole scene will end permanently if he is not cooperative, you are ready to begin.

DELIVERING DISCIPLINE

The well-disciplined husband is a direct result of constant vigilance on the part of the wife. Vigilance means being aware of almost everything he is doing and keeping your rules consistent and predictably enforced. In many instances your discipline will involve tasks and ordeals that he will find highly objectionable. He must always be aware that any rebellion or hesitation on his part will not be tolerated and will be met with additional punishment.

There should never be any doubt in his mind about your ability to administer this punishment. The training methods suggested do involve strict discipline, and strong doses of corporal punishment. They do not involve torture, brutality, cruelty, or anything that could cause lasting harm. Some of the physical punishments described are meant to be painful. There is no question that welts will be raised and bottoms bruised, but chastisement should never leave permanent marks.

Laying It On!
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A dose of corporal punishment should have a dual effect. It should be extremely painful while it is being applied, and the area it was applied to should remain very tender for a period of time afterwards. Corporal punishment should always be supported with clear and precise description of why the punishment is being done. I call this lecture and it adds an important component to the experience.

No matter what instrument is being used, the DWC wife must always keep in mind that the part most commonly on the receiving end, the buttocks, lay in close proximity to such vital areas as the kidneys and tailbone. For this reason you should never use a heavy or blunt instrument. Also keep in mind that when you are administering a whipping, your subject is usually doing quite a bit of twisting and squirming. Under these circumstances, it is easy for a stroke to land off target. All the instruments I will recommend for your “starter” set will be quite capable of doing the job but none will do any real harm if a blow is struck high or low.

SPANKING INSTRUMENTS

The instruments you choose to use for punishment should be comfortable for you to handle. Naturally, as your experience grows, so will your collection, but for now we will only discuss the basic items to start you off.

The hairbrush is first and it must receive the honors of being the most popular item associated with “home type” corporal punishment. This is a solid old-fashioned hairbrush. Not one of the modern little plastic brushes. I refer to an oval-shaped hard wood brush with a nice flat back. You may have to look around a bit to find what you want. Be prepared to pay from fifteen to twenty dollars for a good one as it probably will be imported and made of expensive wood and bristles. An interesting place to look is antique shops. If you are lucky, you might find an authentic “turn of the century” model. If you do, chances are that it has been used at one time or another for the same purpose you have in mind. Your brush will last a lifetime, no matter how much you use it. It has been a symbol of spanking and home discipline for years and it is a must for your inventory. Once you have used it to spank your husband, it will become something like a badge of office. It is an object you can leave sitting out in the open and every time he sees it, he will be reminded of the role you each play. In addition to a hairbrush you should have at least one other paddle suitable for over the knee spanking. In a pinch a nice flat sandal or slipper will do the job quite effectively, especially on bare cheeks.

Next, you will have to obtain a larger paddle for more serious punishment, or as I call them, “stand-up sessions.” You can make your own, or if that isn’t feasible, can find a suitable alternative at any sporting goods store. Look for one that is shaped like a large ping-pony paddle and is used for a form of racquetball. Some even have holes drilled in them. The theory behind this is that the holes allow the air to rush through, therefore giving the paddle stroke more velocity. A handy substitute is a 24-inch wood ruler. Before using it, wrap about five inches of one end with a good non-slip tape to form a handle.

You should have at least one good leather strap for your collection. It should be of heavy grade cowhide, about 20 inches long and at least two inches wide. Good leather preservative should be rubbed in by hand on a regular basis. Besides making the strap pliable it gives it weight. Of course, your husband should be responsible for proper care of your straps. An alternative to a regular punishment strap is a leather belt. Simply double it and use it in the manner taking care of course to hold on to the buckle end. An old razor strap is a very effective instrument but the ones made today are really too light to be effective. Another type of strap you can make, have made, or purchase from a specialty store is called a “Tawse.” It is a regular leather strap except the last few inches are split into “fingers.” I can assure you that the feel of these fingers wrapping around a buttock or thigh is not soon forgotten.

POSITIONS OF PUNISHMENT
Over HERE! Over my KNEE! NOW!!!

Just as the hairbrush is a must for spanking, spanking is a must for corporal punishment. By this I mean over-the-knee spanking, and no matter how big he is or how small you are, an over-the-knee spanking is possible. Let’s begin with an average size man and woman. We will make no mistake who has superior physical strength. Just remember that it is your dominance and his desire to be submissive that puts him in the spankee position. What is this position? First find a sturdy chair or bench to sit on. It will have to support quite a bit of weight, weight that will be shifting back and forth, so it cannot be weak or flimsy.

Once you are seated, and assuming you spank with your right hand, have him stand at your right side. If you are going to lower shorts or pants, do it now — not when he is over your lap. Put your brush or paddle in your lap and pull the pants well down below his knees. When you are ready to begin, tap your leg once or twice with the brush or paddle. At this visual command, he should quickly position himself across your lap. It is very important that he be trained to do this without hesitation. If you let him get into the habit of stalling after you have ordered him over, each time you give a spanking, it will become more difficult to get him to assume the position.

The first time he hesitates after being given the signal, stand up and beat his bottom and upper legs really hard. Try to become extremely determined and irritated with him, perhaps raising your voice and getting a more stern, irritated look in your eyes and scare him enough so that when you sit down and tap your leg again, he will almost jump across.

Once he is across your knee, give him a few moments to get used to the fact that he is about to be spanked. Begin by giving a couple of hard smacks, then stop. The initial sting will be quite a shock to his system. If you were to keep on, he would struggle so much out of reflex action it would be difficult, if not impossible, to hold him in place. This pause after the first few whacks will give him a chance to mentally gear himself for the ordeal to come. Give him a few more hard smacks and pause again. He will have started to squirm, but the smacks will have been given before any serious movement takes place. His body will be very tense as he awaits the next round of spanks. Wait for him to relax, and tell him to do so. Then resume the spanking.

Here are some ideas for you girls who have really big boys to spank. Your method will be the same, but your positioning will be a little different. Instead of him being over your knee while you sit in a chair, he will be across them while you sit on a bed or couch. His own knees will support most of his weight and elbows but his bare bottom will be right there waiting for your paddle. The important thing is that he is being spanked across your knee and this is what spanking is all about.

Even though I feel a good over-the-knee spanking will solve almost all of your discipline problems, there will still be times when other methods are necessary. An important part of his training is that he knows how to assume different punishment positions when you give the command. There are two basic positions for you to consider. These are the “bent over” and “laying down” positions. The best way for him to assume the first one is to face the back of a chair and then bend over it grasping the seat with his hands. If a chair isn’t handy, just have him bend over and grab his ankles. The important thing is that he presents his bottom for you to punish. Apply your strokes to the fat portion of his behind. Make him remain in a bent over position until you are through. This will take considerable training, but if he knows you won’t stop until he stays in position for a given amount of strokes, he will soon learn how to do it.

The next position where he lays down is suitable for any instrument. The preferred method is to have him lay face down on a long bench with his buttocks elevated slightly. The main advantage of this position is that you can really put considerable force into each swat, and by simply changing sides, you can see that each cheek gets equal attention.

AMBIANCE
Gian and Marina
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Lecture him quietly on why he is being spanked. Tell him if he weren’t so bad and naughty you wouldn’t have to spank his bottom so hard, that sort of talk. For the next series, give eight whacks. Continue to spank in this manner until you think he can take the remainder of the spanking, which should be thirty to fifty spanks without stopping.

A spanking should be an event to remember. Don’t worry about how red his bottom gets. The more color you put into it, the better you are doing. Don’t pay any attention to his cries and pleas and promises. He will tell you anything to get you to stop. Allow him to squirm within limits. If it gets out of hand, give him a smack or two on the back of his thighs. If you give a spanking the way it should be given, the results should still show a week later. He should wince every time he tries to sit for days after. When you are through spanking, or for that matter, giving any form of corporal punishment, be sure he thanks you for taking the trouble to correct him. If you feel it is appropriate have him go to a corner for at least thirty minutes. If you wish, make him stand there with his bottom bared. Do not allow him to talk, move, or rub his buttocks while he is there.

YOUR ATITUDE

If you feel the least bit sorry for him during all this, remember, a submissive man does not want a weak or lenient woman. He wants someone very strict and dominant. If he wanted anything different, he wouldn’t be over your knees in the first place. This isn’t a small child you are holding over your lap by force — this is a grown man who needs and wants a hard spanking. Give it to him and pay no attention to his cries for mercy. The longer and harder you spank, the more he will love you for it.

SUMMARY

Domestic discipline, as described here, is probably practiced in many more homes than you and I would ever guess. If you were to see my husband and I in a restaurant or walking along the street, you would never guess in a hundred years that I spank him regularly. I sincerely believe that if more wives practiced let their husbands know they were capable of administering a good dose of woodshed discipline, the divorce rate would drop drastically.

Always remember the key traits of establishing a dominant disciplinary relationship. When handling discipline issues be firm but fair, strict, demanding, aloof and unyielding. Don’t be afraid to degrade and humiliate, and above all, when that bare bottom is turned up side down across your knee waiting for the paddle or hairbrush, don’t disappoint him. When you let him up, his eyes should be wet with tears, his knees should be quivering, and it should be obvious by looking at his bottom that he is displaying the marks left after a GOOD session.

21 comments

  1. Ok here is my main problem I just can’t get my wife to get me to the point where I can’t stand it anymore. I want here to push it she is close but just doesn’t finish it. Any suggestions on how to get her to this point? Trust me I push my limits with her enough to get a good spanking just not enough to bring me to tear’s.

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  2. Larry, it sounds like you are trying to top from the bottom…I have had to deal with this same problem from my husband several times. Who is in charge? Your wife or you. Perhaps this is a perspective thing but you telling her to get you to the point where you cannot stand anymore sounds like you are simply trying to use her to fulfill your sexual fantasy of being dominated. A disciplinary wife is not for you to manipulate or make request of, it is for you to submit to her authority and discipline. As a strong dominate, in charge, woman she will and should decide how to disciple you as well as how much. It is what she believes is best, not you. As the one responsible for discipline, and seeing that you tow the line she has to be comfortable with her own actions do not push her.

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    1. You are right about trying to push her. But sex is not involved when it comes to punishment from her. Trust me she enjoys beating me enough for that to go away. It starts out exciting but soon ends with the big paddle. Just it don’t feel that I totally submit to her. I am a patient man it will come with time.

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    2. Been awhile but she did get me good the other day . I went out after work had a few drinks which turned into allot. Now she wasn’t mad about that it was me driving home afterwards. She waited till the morning when I was good and sober . no warmup straight to the big paddle. She gave me at least 50. Never felt pain like that from her she was pissed. First time she brought tears and I thought that’s what I wanted but butt still hurts. But I know I deserved it. I’ll think before I do that again.

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      1. I know how you feel. Iget spanked for drinking as well.I have now stopped and bring her for a meal insted.Having said that she still finds an excuse to displine me. Ifeel i am a better person as a result of regular spanking.

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  3. I like this post. My wife spanks me once a month on the first Saturday for all “transgressions” during the month. If something was really bad, I’ll get an extra spanking at the time. That usually happens about once a year.

    Let me tell you how she got into spanking me in the first place, and then I’ll confess a little lie she doesn’t know about.

    It started on our honeymoon 36 years ago. I remember my dad spanking my mom from time to time, and both of my parents spanked me and my twin sister quite often on the bare bottom. So I thought it was natural.

    So on the 3rd night of our honeymoon, she did something to piss me off. We got into an argument and I pulled her kicking and screaming over my lap, pulled down her panties and gave her about 30 solid whacks with my hand. She was devastated, which was not my intention, and she barely spoke to me the rest of the day. Great start to a marriage, right?

    That night we were in bed, and I felt my underwear being gently pulled down. I was laying on my stomach. She whispered something in my ear which made me think I was in for a good time. Then she sat on my back, pinning my arms under her legs and started spanking me as hard as she could with her hair brush. After about 50 solid whacks to each cheek, she said that if I promised there would be no reprisals, she would stop and we could talk, but if I couldn’t promise that she would give me another 50 and then if there was a reprisal she would file for an annulment. I quickly agreed, as my butt felt like it was on fire, and I truly did love her.

    We agreed that I would never again spank her, but if she thought I needed one, then she would give it to me. That eventually led to the once a month thing, and we’ve been very happily married ever since. So that’s how it all started. Now for how she does it, and my confession.

    She makes me take off my pants and underwear pulls me over her knee and then gives me about 50 good hard hand spanks on each cheek. That’s followed by a strap or paddle. The number. 90% of the time it’s the strap. And that leads to my confession.

    The strap hurts like hell, but the paddle hurts like DOUBLE HELL. But I’ve always led her to believe just the opposite. I cry out after each whack with the strap and just whimper at the paddle. For that reason, most spankings are with the strap. So that’s my confession. God help me if she ever finds out.

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  4. I forgot to mention in the above, that after we had been married for about 2 years, we went over to my parents house and I said something that wasnt exactly politically correct. My wife gave me a bare bottom paddling right there in front of my mom with a hair brush. During it, mom left the room and came back with the paddle she had used on me and gave it to her to finish the job. That same paddle is what gets used on my poor butt today.

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  5. How about just using your hand rather than a hairbrush or other instrument?
    Iin my house we have both husband spanking and wife spanking – often just for erotic
    purposes – ajways just with the hand. My wife reports that she enjoys spanking my bare
    bottom with her hand, and I enjoy the same on her beautiful botttom.

    Comments please!

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  6. The guidelines above call for me to really “lay it on”. To what extent? We started discipline about 6 months ago. Things were not improving with a simple hairbrush or by hand, so we got a heavy leather belt and a wooden paddle.

    Both the paddle and the belt leave bruises. I am getting results from my husband, but am worried about the bruising! Am I laying it on too hard? I have read other discipline sites that state that bruising is NEVER good. Have I gone from one extreme to the other?

    My husband is much more affectionate towards me and is sure to do what I ask. The house is picked up and he does the dishes. This seems to be working for us.

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    1. If the spanking is for punishment then it should be severe and should leave discolouration that may be visible for several days after. The most severe paddling I received from my wife (a couple of years when I tracked up her freshly mopped floor) left bruises that were visible for about two weeks.

      Men are programmed to respect strength and power. A weak wimpy spanking probably won’t be effective and at worst will serve to undermine your authority. If altering his behaviour is the goal then you need to paint his butt in the boldest of colours with the strongest of strokes. Aim for applying most of your attention the “sit spot”, the lower part of the fatty part of the cheeks, just above the crease of where they meet the upper thigh. And do not stop until you truly feel he has learned his lesson.

      Happy spanking!

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    2. I don’t think so. My wife has left my bottom black and blue a few times and has even blistered my bottom a few times too. He needs to learn to obey you. Once he learns you are the boss his reminder spankings won’t need to be as hard, but in the beginning he needs to know you are the boss and you are not afraid to discipline him. I made a strap for my wife. I was terrified the first time she used it. She took me to the family room, had me lower my pants and bend over the back of the couch. I howled and cried as the strap wrapped around my bottom, but she didn’t stop. There is no doubt in my mind that she is the boss and I love her for it. She makes the rules and I am very attentive to her and her needs. That was 25 year’s ago and we are very happily married today.

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  7. I have been trying to get my wife to understand that I need to be disciplined hard and regular. Today she began taking me to the hallway out of everyone’s sight. My pants (and underwear) came down and she gave me what I deserve and gave it to me very hard. I’ve been paddled 4 times today as we have 20 years of need to make up. I expect far more by days end. For those of you that this is not a game, you know how bad it is to go without being punished. When she paddled me the first time I felt a flood of stress depart from me.

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  8. My wife is bigger, stronger and more dominate than I. On our wedding night, in Mexico, my wife showered first then I did. I came out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around me as my naked wife took me by the hand and walked me over to the bed, sat down, and dropped my towel as she took me over her knee and started hand spanking me. Just then, there was a knock at the door, “housekeeping, I have the extra towels you ordered miss”. “Come in” my wife called back to her. I walks a woman who must have been in her late 50’s or early 60’s who stops in her tracks as she witnesses the seen before her. I protested and tried getting up to cover myself, but my wife was having nothing of that and wrested me back down, holding me tightly as she resumed my spanking before the housekeeper as I turned red at both ends. The housekeeper apologized as she said “sorry, I thought you said to come in , I’ll just leave these here”. “I did, that’s ok, it’s our wedding night and we were just getting acquainted and I am showing my husband what will happen if he displeases me or argues with me”. Could you please put them in the bathroom for me as I’m a little busy right now. “Sure” She walked within 6 feet of us and stayed for about 5 minutes talking to my wife. Upon leaving she said to my wife ” you’ll do fine honey, you have things well under control and will probably be happily married for a long time. More women three times your age could learn from you”.
    After she left, my wife picked me up, put me on the bed on my back and sat on my face, telling me to pay homage to her naked hiney with kisses and bites and tell me how much you love me. I judge a lot by the size of you and then mounted me in a 69 position to our mutual satisfaction. She spanked me more on our honeymoon. It became an inside joke between us about my her honey’s moons. Every time she tells one of her girlfriends about how wonderful and educational our honeymoon was, I blush and may have noticed as I stay silent.

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    1. I just love the humiliation of being punished in front of someone. My ex punished me in front of her mother on several occasions. The worst was when my MIL used to take over to show my wife how to do it.

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    2. I like this idea. My wife is very shy to spank me. But I want to allow her that she can spank me when ever she wants as pleasure or as a punishment. But because of shyness I dont know how I should ask her to spank me when ever she want to.. any suggestions will be more than welcome

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  9. You sound a lot like my wife. I had to coax her into disciplining me, but she finally agreed. She had been spanking me for foreplay before sex so we had all the appropriate instruments. Her fist discipline spanking was something to be remembered. She told me that day that when we got home I was going to get it. That things were going to be different from now on. On our way home she had me stop at the corner drug store and buy her a box of blue tissue. I had no idea why. To be hones r even though I never said anything I was upset. I wanted to get home! But, I did as directed with no back talk. When we got home she wanted to clean up and change. We own a construction company and she had been working on the job that day with us. She showered and changed into a skirt and blouse. Then she had me get her paddle and the new box of blue tissue and meet her in the spare bedroom. She sat back on the bed and began to lecture me on my behavior and what she wanted to see in the future. When she finished she took the box of tissue, opened it and said this is for you to blow your nose and dry your eye’s while I spank you. From now on every time I spank you, you will bring me this box of tissue. It will be your spanking tissue. When it is not in use it will be kept on the baker’s rack in the kitchen. It will be a reminder to you every time you see it of what will happen when you are naughty or disobedient. Then she had me lay across her lap. Like you said the bed supported my weight. She proceeded to paddle me but good. I definitely used quite a few of the tisseus. It turns out they were not only good for drying my eye’s and blowing my nose, but by doing this they also kept my hands busy. After she finished I was sent to the corner. Corner time means standing in the corner with my pants down, holding the paddle behind my back with both hands while my nose is glued to the corner. Even when she talks to me my nose doesn’t leave the corner until she says I can. My bottom was a dark red that day and I felt it sitting down for half a week. That was 25 year’s ago. Today we are happily married. I am attentive to her and her needs and I do almost all of the house work.

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  10. My wife have been spanking me for 5 years , but not in a continus way.Now she is spanking me every day with a belt , brush , hand and paddle. , sometimes is too hard for me.Do you know how can i be able to ( i dont know the Word) support hardest spankings? I think support is not the Word but im trying to say that my spankings are too hard for me , but i want then harder

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  11. I love being dominated by my wife. I would really love it is she would spank me. She has already put me back into diapers and plastic pants.

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  12. I love reading these stories and presume they are all true.
    Few people know — not even professing Christians — that the Bible, when correctly translated, clearly teaches that a wife “ought to have authority OVER her head,” meaning over her husband. Furthermore, as her servant we read that “discipline is needed”! And that is the truth.

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  13. my wife paddled me a couple times but was never serious about it. I need her to be dominate and a strict disciplinarian. Maybe if she talked to a wife that is into this life style she would see the advantages.

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